Unexpected & Tragic News

On the morning of August 19th, as I laid in bed, I could faintly here my iPhone ringing. I rolled over to look at the alarm clock: 4:30a.m. My iPhone was sitting on my desk in the next room, charging. I didn't bother getting up. I thought to myself, That must be someone on the East Coast who doesn't realize how early it is in Alaska, and I went back to sleep.

At 6:30a.m. my alarm woke me up. I had to be in to work early, so I quickly showered and got ready to go. I walked into my office, grabbed my iPhone and scurried downstairs. I had forgotten about the early morning phone call, until I checked my iPhone. 2 Missed Calls -- MOM. Calls. Plural. She had called twice? Something must be wrong, I immediately told myself. Mom doesn't call me... I always call her. So I hit "Call Back" and let it ring. My mother answered... her voice was shaking... I asked what was wrong. She could barely get it out. "Matthew is dead." What? "Matthew is dead. The police say he shot himself," my mother said hysterically.

Standing in the kitchen, I dropped to my knees, sobbing uncontrollably. Dead? How can that be? He shot himself? Why would he do that? A thousand questions filled my head. I've never felt so far away from "home" in my life.

While I can remember the moments that led up to that phone call, the rest of that day is somewhat of a blur. I know I called Bob and told him what happened. He came home from work right away to comfort me and help me book my plane ticket to Georgia. I recall making several other phone close to friends. And I can remember spending the whole day crying.

The flight to Georgia later that evening seemed to take forever. I tried to sleep on the plane, but every time I closed my swollen eyes, I saw Matthew. He was all I could think about. The thought of not being able to see him ever again broke my heart into a million little pieces. I tried to clear my head by watching movies, TV shows, listening to music, but everything made me think of him. Thankfully, it was a late flight so the plane was dark and I was able to have quiet time. And I didn't have to worry about becoming emotional -- no one seemed to notice.

My friend Becky picked me up at the airport and drove me to my parents' house. For that, I am very thankful because they were in no position to come to the airport. When I walked into the house, my heart broke into a million MORE pieces -- seeing my parents so devastated, so weak and feeble. I hugged my Mom and was afraid I would break her... she seemed so small. None of us really knew what to do. How do you handle such a devastating loss? But at least we were all together.

Matthew was such an inspiring young man who touched so many lives before his was cut way too short. To my beloved brother, Matthew, I will forever cherish the moments we shared together throughout the years -- all the laughter, all the wonderful memories. I am so very thankful that you were a part of my life. I miss you more than you could ever imagine. Rest in peace, dear brother. I LOVE YOU.

Matthew Troy Tipton
January 24, 1986 - August 18, 2009